


Divulge

by SomethingLacking



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Dry Humping, Established Relationship, F/M, First Orgasm, Love, Male Masturbation, Male Solo, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Discovery, Sexual Experimentation, Understanding, first time masturbation, self pleasure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-05-17 18:48:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14837196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingLacking/pseuds/SomethingLacking
Summary: Savior- or Rika… That’s right her name was Rika. Saeran scolded himself for even mentally calling her his Savior. Had always told him since he was growing into a man, and more so when it became evident he was, in fact, a man, that his body was programmed to want sinful things. That women would cause it to react in a way that he would have to fight. That he mustn't allow the impurity of his own gender overcome his mind, or control him. That he shouldn’t even touch his own body when it was in this state, because it would disgraceful.What if Saeran was never properly educated about his own body, and it's *ahem* 'FUNCTIONS'. To add to this, he knows absolutely nothing about the opposite genders body.In this little series, we will explore alongside Saeran sex, love, and pleasure while he researches and explores more of his own body and even yours- the readers!





	1. His Orgasm

Lately every time he kissed you he felt something coil in the pit of his stomach. It made him feel almost hungry, and his head dizzy. It was a curious development. You would also get this looking in your eyes whenever he kissed you, touched you in innocent ways. That look both enthralled him and frightened him. It made him question if you felt the same stirring in your own groin and the hint of hunger. All in all, he had no idea what was happening. How a simple form of affection that you two shared whenever you had the chance, could make his body reacted and do disgusting things. Then again he knew how… It had all been explained to him.

Savior- or Rika… That’s right her name was Rika. Saeran scolded himself for even mentally calling her his Savior. Had always told him since he was growing into a man, and more so when it became evident he was, in fact, a man, that his body was programmed to want sinful things. That women would cause it to react in a way that he would have to fight. That he mustn't allow the impurity of his own gender overcome his mind, or control him. That he shouldn’t even touch his own body when it was in this state, because it would disgraceful, and make him lust.That he was stronger then his urges, and that he’d have to keep them at bay. That women don’t have these problems. That they didn’t feel the urge of desires that men did. It was important for him to keep a woman innocent and only divulge in them when it came time to make a baby. That woman only shared their bodies for the sake of reproduction. That his body would hurt a woman if he was to lose control. That’s why only men that have made commitments under the watchful eye of God could act on their impulses… So that the next generation could come to be. 

Tears pooled in his eyes as he swiftly stepped away from you, and turned around. Ashamed that he wasn’t strong enough; that impure thoughts flooded his mind. That he was exposing you to his demon, his gross and male body. God was he ever disgusting. Saeran looked down at the bulge in his pants. She was right. Rika was absolutely right. This body of his was truly disgusting. Saeran released a shaky breath willing it to just go away. He hated it, hated he was so weak. A god damn airhead. He was going to taint you, and you didn’t need to see the filthy ways his body was reacting to you. 

“Saeran?”You breathed and he could hear you take a step forward- toward him. He felt his blood run cold as the impurity in his pants was still evident. 

“D-don’t,” Saeran muttered voice thick as a small sob escaped his throat. He cursed himself again for being weak, for letting it show. 

“I… Saeran, sweetie what’s wrong?” You asked in a worried tone. Your voice was so soft, and he didn’t deserve you to waste your breath. Your kind words should never be aimed at him. Not when he couldn’t control his body like this, the urges, the desires. 

“Just.. give me a moment.” He explained covering his face with this hands, trying so hard to gain control of his body.

“Sae… You know it okay, right?” those words made him freeze. He didn’t know if you knew what was going on with him, and it mortified him that you figured it out. But if you knew… Why weren’t you scared… what would you be telling him it’s okay for him to be like this. 

“I… Should have better control of my body,” Saeran stated feeling defeated, and to his surprise, you giggled… “Why are you laughing at me? Shouldn’t you be scared?” He asked turning to see a hint of mischief in your eyes. A hand over your mouth to hide the smile, and muffle you chime like laughter. 

“Why would I be scared? It’s flattering you react this way to me.” A blush crept across your cheeks blossoming into a flattering pink. 

“How is my disgusting body reacting to you in such a manner flattering? It’s just annoying.” Saeran huffed feeling his own blush color his cheeks with a light tingle. A moment later you ran to him, wrapping him securely in your arms. Cooing gentle words and caressing his face with your soft fingers. It was doing nothing to help his body relax.

“Shhhh… don't say that. Baby, you're perfect the way you are. Your body is beautiful.” You assured him kissing away the stray tears that streak his face. Saeran was really confused as to why you didn't fear him. Why you'd tell him his body rebelling against him in such a veil way was beautiful.

“I...I don't understand why you're not scared.” Saeran whispered dumbfounded. 

“Why would I be scared of you?” You then asked seemingly confused about why he'd ask you such a silly thing.

“I… it's vail… that I don't have more control and lust… I- I know girls don't have these problems-” You then buried your face in his chest and you're tiny frame started to shake. At first, Saeran believed you were scared, but then your laughter turns auditable. “You shouldn't be laughing. My body could hurt you if I got carried away with you.”

“Saeran… Honey. Has anyone ever explained sex to you.” Your laughter stopped and you had him a concerned look.

“Of course I know what sex is… It makes a baby.” Saeran stated feeling insulted that you thought he didn't know what a basic human need for reproduction was.

“Hmmm… You're right, but it's a lot more than just making a baby. These days its people wanting to partake in the act without creating a baby.” Your words… confused him. Why would people- more so women be seeking out something like this. Something that would hurt them- why would anybody want to be hurt? “You seemed confused?” You observed and Saeran tsked at you, turning his head chewing nervously at the inside of his cheek. You’re sweet little hands cupped his cheeks, and turned his face to look at you. You had a soft smile on your face, as you allowed your thumbs to rub gentle circles on his cheek. “I’m just saying, you don’t have to be embarrassed about how your body reacts to mine. You don’t need to turn away from me, Saeran. I love you.” 

Saeran watched you, looking for any hint that you were afraid of him, or his body and he couldn’t find it. Nothing. You were being truthful with him. “I love you.” He stated leaning in once more to capture your lips under his. He relished the way you reacted to his kiss immediately, shuttering in his arms. You pressed yourself into him, standing much closed then you’ve ever had. Saeran couldn’t help feeling a little shaky as your body added a presser to his manhood, that sent a nice feeling shiver down his spine. “Oh,” Saeran mumbled on your lip’s, discovering something new about his body. 

Your shimmering eyes fluttered open, looking up at him under your long black eyelashes. There was a color to your face, and he didn’t think it was an embarrassed blush at all. You seemed to like how his body was reacting to you’re, and it was so curious. Saeran found himself growing thick between his leg but fought the urge to pull away from you. You released a small sigh, eyes fluttering close once more; as his hand ran up your back, fingers trailing along your spine. He decided he liked your little gasps and sighs you were giving him. Soon you were licking his bottom lip, and he could taste you. Saeran let out a groan at the heavenly taste that graced his tongue when he shyly allowed his to met yours. His mind was clouding, like a thick fog laid over his rational sense, and his thoughts all focused on the pleasant feeling coursing throughout his body. You hips your hips into his and he let out an involuntary moan as a pleasure uncompared to anything caused his eyes to flutter open. 

“Mmmm… you’re vocal- I like that.” you murmured on his lips with a slight smile, before kissing him again. These kissed where different from the ones you’ve shared before. Ravenous almost, with the way your fingers found their way into his hair. Massaging his scalp and lightly tugging at his roots. It didn’t hurt, which surprised Saeran, and sent jolts of electricity, that didn’t hurt, within his veins. Hearing the thick husk of her usually soft and sweet voice did wonders to enhance this pleasant feeling. 

“I- uh… mmm.” Saeran wanted to express something… He seemed to forget exactly what as you rolled your hips into him again. He was hazy and felt light-headed. Was it the lack of air? How he couldn’t breath when his tongue rolled along yours like this. Not wanting to fall over, Saeran gripped your hips, massaging lightly as he moved toward the bed. You smiled turning prompting him to sit, he quirked an eyebrow but did as you bided. 

“I love you.” You cooed so sweetly and saeran couldn’t help but beam a smile reaching out to you. He knew you could see the bulge, but he swallowed his anxiety. You didn’t really seem all that bothered and didn’t look at it either way. If felt nice to be handled by you. To be kissed the way you where kissing him. You crawled onto his lap, and straddle his hips. There was an embarrassed flush that overcame his features as you wiggles slightly to make yourself comfortable on him. 

You could feel it; couldn’t you? His desire, his lust, his sinful body beneath you. So why? Why are you so willing to push him? Test his limits? To possibly be hurt by him? Was this a self-sacrificing part of love, for you to accept him, and his disgusting gender like this? 

Your lips met his, picking up like you never broke off. Your tongue entered his mouth, licking and sucking. Saeran moaned gripping your hips, his own begging to buck forward into yours. Like his sex need friction that only your body could produce. You hummed and the vibrations did wonders in his mouth. He loved that he could taste even your voice like this. Slowly you started to move your hips, let you where answering his prayer. Saeran sighed raising one hand to tangle in your long locks. He was feeling good, you were making him feel so good. Never in his life had this useless body of his made him feel good. “Mmm, ahhhhh~” Saeran moaned losing all sense and bucked forward into you. You gasped and let out a whimper, grinding down on him hard. Saeran froze, breaking the kiss. His grip on your hips tightened urging you to stop. “I’m hurting you.” He whispered feeling ashamed for not controlling himself, his urges and impulses.

“Saeran, baby… look at me.” You cupped his cheeks once again placing soft kisses on his brow. Still feeling ashamed of himself Saeran lifted his head slightly to look into the deep hues of your eyes. “You’re not hurting me. I made those noises because I was feeling good too.” You explained and he looked at you not completely buying it. You fingers went to massage his scalp as you started to slowly roll your hips into his once more. Your face relaxed and mouth made a tiny ‘O’ as you’re breathing came to you slowly. Your eyes darken, and your lashes fluttered. Saeran groaned feeling you rub along his sex, lulling his head slightly to the side, finding the expression you wore amplified the good feeling your body was giving him. “This feels good to me too, Saeran~.” 

The way his name left your lips, he gasped. Feeling his body started to go rigid and his manhood twitched and tightened. Saeran moaned loudly, almost feral sounding, as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You kept petting his hair gently as your hips picked up. There was something building within him, and he almost felt like he needed to pee as one strong jerk of your hip made something shatter within him. Saeran cried out feeling a blinding pleasure overcome him. He saw white even though his eyes were closed. It felt so good, and he felt himself leak, and his testicles tighten and release. His body twitched and a sob left his throat as the high came down. You were painting above him, placing kissing on his crown, as his breathing steady… Saeran was positive he just pissed himself. 

He was mortified to feel a dampness in his pants after the pleasure started to fade. That he peed himself with you on him, thereby peeing on you too… He couldn’t lift his head as he openly cried, his embarrassment too great. You held him close, cooing sweet nothings to him. Assure him everything was alright, that you were alright. It did comfort him that you’re where alright and that you didn’t mention the accident he just had. “I’m so sorry.” He gasped handing your body close. 

“No need to be sorry, it’s okay.” You cooed and just held him until his cries slowed down. 

“I think I might have-” saeran blushed still not lifting his head… The wetness in his pant became sticky; it was curious for it to do that. 

“It’s okay if you came, I just wanted to help you feel good.” You assured him, and he wondered. What did you mean by ‘came’.

“If I came?” He couldn’t help but ask, it was a peculiar statement, and you froze.

“Say, Sae- ahaha that rhymes. Have you ever had an orgasm before?” She asked and Saeran just shook his head, not entirely understanding. You gasped sounding surprised. “You mean this was your first one?” You sounded so bewildered it was embarrassing. 

“Is- was that an orgasm?” Saeran asked finally understanding the sensation that overcame him moments ago.

“Mmmm.” You agreed still petting him. “If you ejaculated right then, then yes. You had an orgasm, Saeran.” You explained in a kind tone like it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of. Saeran felt his love for you grow and well up in his chest. You weren’t disgusted by him at all, but being super encouraging. “I imagine your pants are super sticky, you should go take a shower.” You suggested.

“It’s… kind of gross, yes.” Saeran agreed.

A few moments of untangling yourselves, Saeran made his way swiftly into the bathroom and shut the door. He honestly couldn’t wait to get out of his uncomfortable and sticky jeans… He realized then, maybe Rika hadn’t explained things fully to him... That maybe he should do some research about his body- and yours.


	2. His First Time Masturbating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran uses some convent time to himself to experiment with masturbation.

It was simply amazing how a week has passed since the night you both were close, and he had made a complete fool of himself. What was more amazing is how you could be so casual with him even after the events that transpired between you. That you seemed fine going on with your life with him as if he hadn’t shown you how revolting his body could be. How he lacked self-control even now, even without the clouded haze of the elixir. How Saeran was powerless in the sensations of you, and everything you were. Your soul, your mind, your body. Every blissful thing that made you, you were his kryptonite. You tested his limits, you pushed him to show the less desirable side of himself and embarrassed Saeran, and he wasn’t sure how you could act like it was something completely normal. It piqued his interest when you suggested he get to know his body better. To explore and learn the sensations of it, to violate his own flesh to seek temptation. He was still a little guard of the idea when he agreed to it the other night, another night where he found his body doing disgraceful things when you kissed him. Only he had been stronger, he had excused himself before he could hurt you. 

Savior- Rika. Her name was Rika. Rika had also made him feel resentful for his gender, something he never had any choice in. Just like he never had a choice to be born a twin bastard to an abusive alcoholic. Saeran reminded himself as he looked at himself in the mirror, naked. He frowned at the sight of his naked form and sighed. You've luckily respected his privacy and never seen how repulsive male he really was. His body still sickly looking, but starting to thicken up with the healthy meals and amount of food available to him. The lines of his physic male and sharp with protruding hip bones that sat on the edge of a v that lines his pelvis and a red patch of red curls. Unable to stomach the image presented before him, as his eyes moved to the organ laying limp between his leg, Saeran moved from the mirror and dressed quickly. He took extra care to comb his hair and make himself presentable before joining you in the kitchen for breakfast.

You had decided to go out for a few hours with some of your school friends after breakfast. Saeran had assured you it’s fine that you go out, and with a final peck on the lips, you ran out the door. Saeran locked the door behind you, not wanting his nosy brother to let himself in. He was tempted to make his own programmed security system for the sole purpose of keeping Saeyoung out. His airheaded brother didn’t seem to understand personal space or the need for alone time. Like an alarm went off for the older twin to know when Saeran was blissfully in solitude and was hell-bent to ruin the peace. Saeran over the past couple months has grown close with Saeyoung again and found that childhood love for his older brother never actually left. However, his twin was a nuisance at best, and showed up at undisclosed times for ‘brotherly bonding’. One night you even had to put the run to the eccentric Choi twin so you could rest for your classes the next morning. Saeran groaned remembering the day his brother asked him questions… So many personal questions, on topics he was embarrassed to admit he was too naive to really understand. Feeling like a child next to his brother about the world had made his blood boil. Being ignorant to most ‘adult’ things wasn’t something Saeran would ever admit to anyone… Well anyone but you at least.

Now was the perfect time for him to sit down and do some research. He was to be alone for a few hours, and his brother shouldn’t be an interruption. Your reactions the other day where for lack of a better word- confusing. Saeran grabbed his laptop and locked himself away in your shared bedroom. He was careful hiding his footprints so that Saeyoung wouldn’t come across what he was searching if his brother got bored and decided to hack his browser history again. His eyebrow twitched at the memory, and just how ‘boring’ he was. However perverted this might seem, he was generally curious of what had happened between the two of you. 

Saeran found a couple medical sited and articles on sex experts who apparently made a living off of studying sex and all it entailed physically and mentally. He was quickly learning why people sought out the act and why people found it pleasurable. It looked like some sort of high with the list of chemicals the brain released during an ‘orgasm ’. Cheeks punked thinking back to his experience with the sensations. Saeran shook his head and continued to scroll to learn some questionable acts and terms like ‘BDSM’ ‘FETISHES’ and ‘KINKS’. All those topics had appealed him to say the least thinking about hurting you in any way made his guts turn. It didn't understand how anyone could seek out pain, seek out abuse. He frowned as the article made it out to sound normal and it appalled him.

Next, he came across an article on the health benefits of masturbation. Saeran took a moment to scroll the page a little intrigued with the science of it. His mind wandered to when you had told him he should get to know himself and Searan felt his cheeks light up with heat. Was it really okay for him to do something so disgusting? He wasn't so sure, but the way your voice sounded when you suggested it to him with kind and encouraging. Like genital manipulation was the most casual and common thing in the world. With a thick swallow, Saeran opened his mind to the concept of wanting to do anything to please you, even if it meant… Doing whatever it was one did while masturbating. 

He scrolled back up the page as started to read it in detail soaking in every word it had to offer from fantasy to porn. Saeran wore an unpleased expression as he opened the link provided to a porn website. Teal eyes went wide and his face paled as he was treated with a pair of an extremely large bouncing breast on the top of the screen. He scrolled down the page absolutely speechless as there were body parts and naked people partaking in unholy acts plastered all over his computer screen. An act that were meant to be shared between a man and woman with the promise of forever under the watchful eye of God. A husband and wife and a private and intimate act. Finding these videos have made him unsure and he closed the tab unable to click on anyone private acts and watch for himself. Saeran licked, his lips trying to calm his breathing as he returned to the article. 

Fantasy seemed more promising as it was his own headspace. With a shaky breath and a rapid heartbeat, Saeran did what the article suggested and relaxed back in the pillows. He set the laptop on the side table leaving it open and to the page, he was currently visiting in case he needed to double check something. Surely understanding the mechanics of the act he was about to perform on himself. He closed his eye as took a deep breath trying to ease his anxieties as he tried to gather his wits. You had said this was normal and okay. He had found countless articles and the such also telling him this was okay and even healthy. With that knowledge as opened his mind for something to enter it, that would trigger the series of events that were necessary for him to reach that orgasm. Only he didn’t know what would cause the reaction within his groin to make it grow stiff. Sighing he thought back to all the times he had it erect. Every time it had been early morning waking up or when you were close. 

When you were close and your body close enough for him to feel the heat radiating off of it. To feel the shape of you pressed against his own figure as you held him close and safe. How your lips would brush his leaving you sweet kiss lingering with tingles as you bestowed him with small affection. Hands would tangle his hair holding his mouth to your as you pull gently and massaged his scalp with just the right pressure. 

Saeran’s eyes went wide as his pants became tight and his penis erects beneath the fabric. Tears wells in his eyes as it happened, it was what he wanted to happen, but it still scared him to allow his body to get to this state. How simple little affections from you seemed to cause his body to disgrace itself and you within his memory. Debating for a moment if he truly wanted to continue this act where only you seemed to on his mind. Only you made him hard and body vibrate with that pulse that felt good deep within himself. Saeran chewed on the inside of his cheek noting it wasn’t dying down and shivered thinking of all the freezing cold morning showers. No. He would see the threw to the end. He wasn’t about to chicken out. You had asked him to do this, and for you, his princess, the one thing on this earth that made existing on this plain bearable he’d do anything. 

With new found confidence Saeran’s hands moved the front of his jeans, and he allowed the palm of his hand rub from base to tip softly. His breath hitched as hips lift up craving more contact. Saeran looked down to where the bulge of his pants was left almost breathless. There was a desire and need to continue to touch himself now that he started. Carefully he repeated the action with more pressure and Saeran moaned out lowly in a long breath. It was indescribable the sensations his hand was giving him. Touching a filthy part of himself and liking it caused a blush to bloom across his cheeks and nose. Thankful he was alone as nibble fingers unbutton the top of his pants and down the zipper. Saeran hissed as the fabric loosened around his swollen flesh and offered some relief. The ex-cultist shimmied out of the denim like lightning and tossed them to the floor. 

Now on laying back on the bed, legs sprawled out and boxer briefs tented with his erection pushing up in all its fury. Slender fingers wrapped themselves around the base of his cock and added pressure experimenting on what caused those pulses that made his body tingle once more. Teal hues closed as he put himself back a week ago. The dark look in your eyes as you looked at him in his indecent state. His hand pumped up his shaft and a soft whimper escaped his lips as you set him down on the bed once more and crawled up onto his lap. The fabric of the underwear he still wore caused an uncomfortable tugging sensation that still made him shiver with the dull pain of the friction on his sensitive organ.

Saeran pulled the briefs down enough to allow his penis red swollen and erect to bob free. A sharp intake of air caused a hiss through clenched teeth when the cool air assaulted the heated flesh. Saeran took a moment to look down at what his genitals looked like in this state a little surprised to find how much it changed in appearance. The was the head swelled up and the length doubled in size. Biting his lip he once again wrapped his slender fingers around the base and gave the shaft a long slow and experimental stroke. He moaned to himself as his head fell back against the softness of the pillows once more. His body broke out in a fine layer of sweat as his fist moved up and down the shaft carefully making his body shiver. The same pleasure brewed deep within him that accrued when you rolled your own hips against his a week ago. The way you used your own clothed sex to massaged his. Saeran mellowed as his hand picked up speed giving into the feel-good sensation of his own hand manipulating his body. His own hand bring him higher and higher and made his mind swim beneath the waves of the pleasure he was producing for himself. 

There was no helping the moans and whimpers that escaped his throat as he continuously gained speed feeling his testicles tighten themselves closed to his flesh. It was slightly uncomfortable and Saeran reached down with his free hand and massaged them trying to relieve the tension. The joint efforts had him bucking his hips wildly as a euphoria clouded his mind causing it to go blank. The muscles in his abdomen constricted as his body went and tensed up. Then he spasmed and began to relax. That same sensation of something leaving him was joined by a thick hot liquid hitting his forearm, and running down it leaving a sticky trail. Saeran moaned loudly unsure when the overwhelming yet blissful waves would end as his cock pulsed shooting ribbon after ribbon of semen out of him. His hand slick as he pumped harshly on the organ in his hand feeling really really sensitive all of a sudden. 

The pulses stopped and Saeran released his genitals and rolled on his side. Tears thick and warm ran down his cheeks as he gasped for air. His bangs coated in sweat stuck the sides of his face and forehead and his eyes remained squeezed shut. There where still spasms assaulting his nervous system but he found himself mostly relaxed as he laid there in awe panting. That had been a lot to take in, but he found himself not hating it. Saeran had actually liked it, and now his mind buzzed delightfully and his muscles relaxed. Like every anxiety had drained away for a while, and he was left just glowing. Vibrating with positive vibes as he yawned feeling drowsy after such a workout. Still, Saeran fought off sleep deciding a shower and a change of bedsheets needed to be done. He looked at his own bodily fluid and grimaced at how gross it looked and felt on his skin. Pulling the briefs back up to their proper place on his hips, and pressed the code to auto delete everything from his history and moved to strip the bed and start a shower for himself. Completely erasing the evidence of what had just transpired in the bed with himself. However, there was no erasing the curiosity and desire to learn more. To experience more, the entire experiment had awoken within him.


End file.
